


Letter to a lost friend

by Brian13



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Friendship, I'm Sorry, Letter, No Plot/Plotless, Randomness, Real Life, References to Depression, Sad, Short, i need it, i'm not good at writing but i've tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13526331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brian13/pseuds/Brian13
Summary: You are so far away and I really, really miss you... I didn't have a chance to say it before, I just hope it is not too late





	Letter to a lost friend

**Author's Note:**

> It's more like a cry of my soul because I can't keep it inside anymore.. and unfortunately, this message won't reach its destination..so yeah.  
> Don't hate and sorry for my bad English

We all suffer in our own way, but at the same time, we all have our happiness. But what if not? After all, happiness is such an ephemeral thing, so maybe it doesn't exist at all and we're just creating an illusion. Something makes us feel extremely good and we think "oh, I feel so happy", but what if not? What if we see things the way we wish instead of how they really are. You said people get tired. What if they get tired because of waiting for this illusion, which for some reason has passed them by. I am still waiting for my perfect illusion, well, maybe not really waiting, I guess I've already given up. I'm not saying that I've never had my moments of joy, but can I consider them as happiness? What do you think? I know those moments are precious, but when I see people, which almost glow with that so-called happiness, I wonder how does it feel to feel that way. Do you know that feeling? Have you ever felt that happy? I hope you did, so at least one of us know the feeling and you're obviously the one who deserves it more.  
You know what? Tell me your story, I really want to hear it, to know the real you. But I'll understand if it's too hard, then maybe share with me one of the most precious moments of your life or tell me something no one knows about you. We all have our little secrets. I have lots of those. So just tell me one. You were always good with words, unlike me. You could say something so inspiring or something unusual that would make me really amazed. I wonder where do you get your inspiration from? I think you've always knew what to say. I kinda envy you. No matter how hard I try people still don't hear me or they just don't want to listen. Even if I put my all heart and soul, they still stay indifferent. I wonder if it ever happened to you. I think that's hardly possible because the way you speak and what you say make everyone listen to you. I know it for sure. I want to have a conversation with you, like a deep one. So we would share our opinions and feelings, no matter which topic, whatever you wish. And even if I'm not that good of a company, just give me a chance. I'm sure I can learn a lot from you. You are inspiration itself. If no one ever told you that, then I'm glad to be the first one.  
I wonder if you gave me just one day to get to know you better, to hear you, to be the one who'll understand you, would it change something? Would it change your mind or maybe it would rather change mine? You know, I think we're not that different. Too scared to let someone in and, at the same time, too terrified to stay alone. I think it's our biggest problem..no, not problem, but a mistake. If we've ever tried to open up maybe it would've changed something. But, I guess it's too late.  
You know that feeling when the world comes down crashing on you and you just don't know who you should ask for a help and if that person even exists.That moment you forget how to breathe, you're choking, your lungs are burning and those angry tears, the proof of your weakness... It is always so intense and you just can't stop it, you don't know how. Do you know what I'm talking about? I hope you don't, I would never wish you to come through that. I guess you have your own demons, maybe we even have the same, but we'll never find out because none of us would admit it. Maybe it's time to ask for a hand of help, or maybe we're just too damaged to even try.  
I keep hearing your voice. Sometimes it's like a saving grace and it gets me out of my deepest nightmares, but sometimes it feels like you're trying to tell me some big secret that should open my eyes and it terrifies me. I know I'm reading between the lines again, but that's what I always do.  
You said people get tired, so what if I am? Can I change my road like you've changed yours? I know you've wanted to find your own way, to finally feel free, but why can't I? I know you don't like it, but what if it's meant to be? I believe in destiny and karma, you know, so I'm pretty determined. I know I'm still scared, but will I ever stop? I'll never be brave as you are, so there is no point in waiting. You didn't wait for a miracle, you got tired and changed your road, and I am tired. I am so freaking tired. Just tell me honestly, like really honestly, with no prejudice, what should I do? What would you do if you were me? Because I don't know anymore, I'm lost and scared, and you're so far away. I just hope you're happy wherever you are, in spite if happiness exists or if it's really just an illusion.  
Just remember I miss you..and I'm sorry


End file.
